Are you ready to explore a deeper understanding?

It’s such an important time to look into our hearts.

It’s what we’re all being called to do in this time of significant transitions, change, disconnection from former norms, and the challenges we each face adapting to an all-new world.

We’re interacting differently and experiencing frequent needs to adjust to what we had counted on and trusted “before.”

This month, I want to encourage you to come on an exploratory journey with me, tapping into Essential Love and Trust – so relevant right now.  I doubt there’s a single soul reading this who hasn’t felt a disturbance or disruption in what they knew of love and trusted over this past year.

Tuning in to our heart’s energy and re-discovering compassion and forgiveness will free us of the anger, bitterness and frustration we may sense or see swirling in the world of late.  Have you personally experienced or witnessed moments that have disrupted your trust? Be it a partner, a job, a family member, someone who is there to protect us, an organization, a product, a medical facility, an institution, weather patterns, pets or neighbors—rarely has one escaped the intensity of this past year.

It’s seeped into our consciousness and created a weariness, a wariness, a sense of concern for how the world really will support us.

Friends, the stress of this stuff by itself can make us sick!  Lowered immune response, inability to sleep soundly, digestive upset, weight gain, hormone havoc, changes in heart health, and even cancer are known outcomes of repeated stress on the body.

It is truly ESSENTIAL that we rediscover and anchor ourselves in Love and Trust as soon as possible! So here’s what I want to share that can help.

Anchor the foundation of love in your partnership or marriage

 Togetherness is great…usually.  Before last March, there were likely times that you and your partner would have to plan days off or maybe even set a “date” just to set aside time to hang out together. Now you’re together a LOT more, as in every, single, day.  Uh…GREAT! Well, maybe and maybe not.

One of the big “ah ha’s” Jim and I discovered nearly 20 years into our marriage that was SUPER helpful and FREE to figure out, is what is playfully termed by author Gary Chapman as our unique, emotional “Love Language.”  In his book The 5 Love Languages written decades ago, Chapman explains that we each have our own emotional “love language”, and often ours is completely different than our spouse.  For example, you speaking English won’t be understood or received well if he speaks Chinese. Get it?

Take the 5 Love Languages quiz and find out YOUR “Love Language.” Ask your partner to do the same and then take some time to talk about the differences and how you express them in everyday life. It’s fun to suddenly understand how we tend to give in the language that speaks to US, when our partner wants to receive in THEIR language. Helpful for us see where misunderstandings and miscommunications can arise.

By the way, this is a fun exercise to do in any group where interaction is required, such as business colleagues, siblings and parents with children.  Chapman also created programs just for singles, men, children and teenagers—so consider a mid-winter quiz for everyone and see if that helps us rekindle more LOVE in our world during this super-challenging era of our lives.

👉🏻 Take the 5 Love Languages Quiz here:

Does This “Aromatherapy” Thing Really Work?

Yes!  The impact of specific aromas on our mood and emotion is not only scientifically proven in over 1500+ peer-reviewed medical research papers published on the National Institute of Health’s National Library of Medicine ( , but it’s easy to test. Do you like the smell of freshly baked apple pie (smell the cinnamon?) or the aroma of fresh roses?  How about the first smell of a skunk nearby?  Your sniffer can discern pleasant from unpleasant aromas in seconds…and your body will either begin to relax (parasympathetic nervous system) or constrict (sympathetic nervous system.)

During this past year, most of us have been living in the sympathetic nervous system overload world. It’s the world that feels like hurry-hurry, change, no-this-way, breathe, no-wait -we’re-doing-this-now.  Inhaling a few drops of pleasant-smelling, doTERRA’s certified pure tested grade essential oil aromas goes to work in just a few seconds to begin helping you relax and become more calm.

One of my top recommendations is doTERRA’s Geranium essential oil —the Oil of Love and Trust.  Look to my special blog post about just that topic!

So turn on that diffuser with an aroma you love and let it help you naturally unwind. Everyone who enters the room will notice it too.  Keep in mind that this simple action can help create a more calm mind for all. That means better choices on how we come from a place of love and more kindness in all our relationships and interactions.


Trust is an important feeling to establish and retain with others. You know what it feels like – safe, secure, confident, upheld.  And you know what it feels like when trust is broken – mistrusting, uncertain, unsure, disconnected.

With all the changes most of us have experienced in this last year, its easy to find yourself struggling to trust what lies ahead with a person(s), business, institution, with honestly a LOT of things.

Curious to know how your “Trust-o-Meter” is working these days? Take a few minutes to answer this quiz created by Martha Nibley Beck, (speaker, author and life coach to many including Oprah Winfrey). It’s called The Trust Test and will help you gain a snapshot of your current level of trust in the world, and perhaps identify the areas where you have some gaps.

Identifying those gaps in the way we trust the world, provides each of us with a potential pathway for exploration and inquiry. Can trust be re-established? Is it appropriate to talk about trust concerns? How can you prepare this month (or when you’re ready) to address the trust gaps that still exist?

What about trusting your partner? This past year has challenged many couples with differing opinions, to find common ground and openly discuss their different perspectives on the world and solutions to make a better tomorrow.

Getting an honest assessment of whether you trust your partner, may be a good place to start. Then take that info and consider an action plan to build a stronger bridge between you as you listen and seek to understand how opinions can vary so completely between people who deeply love one another.

Looking for ways to start building that bridge of understanding?  Search on Google and you’ll see there are hundreds of timely and helpful suggestions! Remember to diffuse the geranium – the Oil of Love and Trust.

In his book The Speed of Trust – The One Thing That Changes Everything, Steven M.R.Covey talks about the core principles of trust for self-assessment and business uses, followed by suggestions to restore trust when it’s been lost. In his final chapter, he summarizes with two key points I believe are critical to reestablishing trust:

  1. Don’t be too quick to judge.
  2. Do be quick to forgive. 


In my experience, there are often steps to rebuild trust in any situation. It begins with forgiveness. Forgiveness to “them,” forgiveness for anything you’ve expressed in judgement that you want to take back, and forgiveness to yourself for feeling angry or upset by the situation. Without forgiveness, we may find ourselves in a pattern of negative emotions that include a sense of abandonment, loss, distrust, heavy-hearted and actually grieving what “used to be.”

Each day before I begin my journaling time, I tap my intuition to choose a message for the day. The card shown above about how judgement closes our heart to truth and separates us from love, was the card I selected. It's one of the many great messages you'll find in my friend, Brianne Hovey’s Soul Truth Self-Awareness Deck.  A message worth pondering, so I thought I'd share it here.

I also found this information from Dr Randy Kamen, Psychologist, Educator and Author in his blog post about The Power of Forgiveness to be a powerful message to reestablish love, trust and overall well being: “Forgiveness means giving up the suffering of the past and being willing to forge ahead with far greater potential for inner freedom. Besides the reward of letting go of a painful past, there are powerful health benefits that go hand-in-hand with the practice of forgiveness.”

Forgiveness transforms anger and hurt into healing and peace. Forgiveness can help you overcome feelings of depression, anxiety, and rage, as well as personal and relational conflicts. It is about making the conscious decision to let go of a grudge. Why would anyone want to forgive someone who has wronged her in the past? It is not about letting someone off the hook for a wrongdoing, or forgetting about the past, or forgetting about the pain. It certainly does not mean that you stick around for future maltreatment from a boss, a partner, parent, or friend. It is about setting yourself free so that you can move forward in your own life. Joan Borysenko said in an interview, "You can forgive someone who wronged you and still call the police and testify in court." Forgiveness requires a deep inquiry within ourselves about "our story."

Forgiveness means giving up the suffering of the past and being willing to forge ahead with far greater potential for inner freedom. Anne Lamott famously declared, "Forgiveness is giving up all hope of having had a different past." Besides the reward of letting go of a painful past, there are powerful health benefits that go hand-in-hand with the practice of forgiveness. In the physical domain, forgiveness is associated with lower heart rate and blood pressure as well as overall stress relief. It is also associated with improving physical symptomsreducing fatigue in some patient populations, and improving sleep quality. In the psychological domain, forgiveness has been shown to diminish the experience of stress and inner conflict while simultaneously restoring positive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.


Trusting others is essential to our peace of mind, sense of safety and security in this life. We want to trust our institutions, our employers, our government, and of course – those we love.  Sometimes when trust has been broken in any of those places, consider making and taking a bite of a “forgiveness sandwich”.

Are you willing to try this simple mindfulness practice with me? You’ll need about 5 minutes and a little mental imagery. You might even want to record this on your phone and play it back to yourself with your eyes shut---give it a try! This is an experiment with awareness – just notice what you notice, no judgement.  Have a paper and pen handy at the end of the exercise to see what comes up for you.

  • Picture a slice of forgiveness. What does it look like – what color? What does it smell like – what aroma? What does it feel like in your hands and fingers – what texture? Anything else come to mind when you think about the look and feel and taste of forgiveness?
  • Now imagine stacking any judgement that comes to mind on top of that. What colors are these judgements? Do you see each one on top of the next? What does the texture of the first one feel like? What does it smell like?  How about the second one---what type of texture do you see in each layer?  What do you feel? How does each layer smell to you?  How about the combination of layers? Continue this for each layer of judgement that is clear in your mind.  Overall – what is the look and feel and taste of judgement in your mind?
  • On top of the judgements in this sandwich, I want you to top it off with a slice of compassion. What color is compassion in this instance? Does it have a texture? If so – what is that? Can you smell an aroma coming from this slice of compassion? Where does your mind travel when you think about the look and feel and taste of compassion?
  • Now it’s time to take a bite of the whole thing sandwich. Take a bite of the whole thing – forgiveness, judgement and compassion.
  • Chew slowly. Keep chewing the whole combination at least 20 times.
  • Notice what you are feeling. Notice what you are thinking.
  • Now swallow it.
  • Repeat, starting with another bite, until the whole sandwich disappears.
  • Grab your pen and paper and start writing whatever thoughts came to mind for you. Take a few minutes to do this and don’t worry about punctuation or spelling---just keep writing until you feel like you are done.
  • That’s enough for today.
  • Repeat this exercise if it’s helpful.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi

As you explore and rediscover the power of Essential Love and Trust by trying some of my suggestions, I hope you’ll sense the choices you DO have over your inner world and thoughts each day.  Tune in to your heart and what it is truly telling you as you apply or diffuse the doTERRA geranium essential oil to deepen your awareness of your feelings. Then take a bite of the forgiveness sandwich and know that good things are ahead if you’re willing to take a stronger step into a place of love and trust.

Wishing you peaceful thoughts, healthy relationships, time outdoors, restful sleep and your continued well being.